I have often heard in Christian circles the phrase proclaimed that "We want a relationship, not a religion!"
I am an artist and a musician. I will be the first to tell you that I wear my heart on my sleeve. I love well, and I love deeply. I care for people I hardly know in ways that they will never be aware of. So when I am asked what my favorite Bible story is, I don't think twice before saying the story of King David. My heart naturally connects to his kind hearted nature, and his adoration to God that is so strong that he would forsake all manors of respect as a King to praise God by dancing in the streets! When I think of who in all of the Bible is a model for a great relationship with God that goes beyond religion, without a doubt the first person I think of is David. He was "a man after God's own heart". Which is why Psalm 119 struck me as odd.
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Psalm 119:17-24
Be good to your servant,
that I may live and obey your word.
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Open my eyes to see
the wonderful truths in your instructions.
19
I am only a foreigner in the land.
Don’t hide your commands from me!
20
I am always overwhelmed
with a desire for your regulations.
21
You rebuke the arrogant;
those who wander from your commands are cursed.
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Don’t let them scorn and insult me,
for I have obeyed your laws.
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Even princes sit and speak against me,
but I will meditate on your decrees.
24
Your laws please me;
they give me wise advice.
If David was the ultimate example of a man who desired a relationship with the Lord, being a man after God's own heart, then how does God's law fit into this picture?
What part of God's hear do we miss out on by forsaking religion for relationship? And what if the best of relationships with God includes some aspect of religion?
The story of Sasha
There was a little girl that I used to know named Sasha. Her parents loved her dearly. They had tried for years to have a baby and had conceived several times and lost all their children. So when Sasha was born, she was even more special to them. She was their prized jewel of countless worth, and when she was born, they made a vow to her to give her the best life they could possible offer. As she grew, she was lathered in gifts of toys, beautiful dresses, and they even created a space for her to explore her hobbies in anything from art to science to woodworking. They gave her everything and only asked for affection in return.
They loved her so much that they had a hard time saying no. She got whatever she wanted, and she adored her parents, but she began to expect that she could do whatever she pleased and never experience consequences. She began to feel entitled to everything, with the expectation that her parents would clean up after. She believed that it's just what parents did because it was the way that it always was. And despite having everything, Sasha began to be unhappy. She began to feel that no matter what things she had, she could never feel fulfilled. Her parents began to get weary of dealing with their child's spoiled nature and concerned with her unhappiness, and so they went to a professional who specialized in parenting techniques.
The specialist told the parents that Sasha was unhappy because there was no structure in her life. She was unsure of her parents expectations because they never differentiated between right and wrong. She felt unsure of where the boundaries were so she would push buttons until her loving parents snapped. She would do these things because she longed for boundaries that were never put in place.
So how does Sasha's story fit into God's story with us?
The problem with Sasha's parents giving her everything with no responsibilities is that we were created to have boundaries and responsibilities. Without them, we push buttons until we find the line to cross.
It is worth looking at the other side as well. If Sasha's parents had raised her to follow the rules to a tee and not once expressed their affection for her, the poor girl would have grown up believing that the only way to gain affection is through doing the correct chores in the correct order the correct way. A good parent loves to lavish affection on their child!
Perhaps David was on to something when he asked the Lord to not hide his commands from him. From before sin was even in the picture, God gave us rules to follow and responsibilities to fulfill. Adam was given the job of giving identity to all the animals before he was even aware of sin. Eve was given the responsibility of supporting his work. Both were given the boundaries of the Garden of Eden to live in, and a responsibility to gather food, but to stay away from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. Maybe we miss out on something beautiful with God when we say, "I just want God to love me. Forget about religion!"
I sometimes wonder if we are afraid of the rules that God put in place. We see other believers live lives in bondage to the rule instead of freedom through them. It just seems easier to believe that God only meant for those rules to apply to people before Jesus, and since we are saved by grace, we don't need those rules anymore. We are afraid that we will be outcast by our culture for being closed minded if we think that those rules are still intended for us. Maybe we don't understand the God of the Old Testament, so we separate that God from the God we know. But maybe that God is more loving than we ever though. Maybe those rules are what allow us to live in God's Kingdom on earth. Maybe we need those boundaries in our lives to live how God intended us to live. Maybe God wants to love us better through religion and relationship in perfect harmony.
